


False Hope

by ginadzani



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cheating, Closeted Dean, F/M, Hurt Castiel, Infidelity, Just read, M/M, don't wanna ruin it with spoiler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-03-04 22:52:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3095504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginadzani/pseuds/ginadzani
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Cas has been together from when they were in college. Except, Dean isn't Cas's as much as Cas was Dean's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yay finally wrote a new fic!  
> Beta'd by [gmbygrl](http://archiveofourown.org/users/gmbygrl/pseuds/gmbygrl)
> 
> Enjoy!

_This is so wrong._

Cas closed his eyes as he slid into Dean. His warm body feels so very welcoming, but something wrong is there lurking in the corner. Dean's quiet groan was the only voice heard in the quiet night. Dean's hands pressing on his shoulders, his legs circling Cas's hips. It's all feels so familiar, yet something always feels wrong.

"Baby, don't stop...." Dean's panting becoming more intense as he was get closer to his end. Cas keeps his rhythm, thrusting into Dean with a gentle and accurate pace.

"I'm close..." Dean pants again, which earning a groan from Cas, which means he was close too. Dean comes first, with Cas's hands on his body. Cas follows two thrusts later.

Cas was catching his breath while kissing Dean in their post-orgasmic haze. Dean smiles into the kiss. Cas pulls out a few minutes later.

This is all feels so right, so familiar.

Yet this feels wrong.

They lay side by side for a while, staring at the ceiling. No one makes any noise or begins trying to make a conversation.

The night was so quiet.

And suddenly a loud ring came from the bedside table. Dean's phone. Someone's calling. Dean makes a quick glance at Cas, giving sign that he has to take the call. Cas just wanted to throw that phone into the next galaxy.

Dean sits up and took his phone.

"Hey, sweetie,"

_Of course his friggin girlfriend has to call him right after I spent my dick inside him._

"No, no. I'm at Cas's,"

"Nah, we're just having a movie, a beer, you know, guy's night,"

"Well, I was planning to spend the night-"

Quiet. Seems like he was interrupted.

He made a quick glance at the clock on the wall. It's nearly midnight.

"Why did you wanna come over this late?"

Not so quiet. That girl on the other end of the phone increasing her voice.

"Yeah, yeah sure, I miss you too--"

Dean huffed a breath.

"Yeah alright I'll be home by midnight,"

Now Cas was the one who was huffing a breath.

"Right back at ya,"

Dean never says the words to his girlfriend of 2 years.

He ends the call and put his phone back on the table. He lay back down again and staring at Cas.

"Sorry baby, I've gotta go. She--"

"Yeah I know. Just go,"

Cas didn't even look at Dean. He was so tired of this drama. Dean gives him a quick peck and get up, taking his articles of clothing which was spreading on Cas's bedroom.

 

***

 

Dean and Cas met what feels like ages ago. They were still in college, they were assigned as roommates as the fates were going to have it. They hit it right off the bat, with Cas's calm demeanor overlapping Dean's more rough nature.

They were joined at the hip. People always know them as DeanNCas.

What peoples didn't know, was the real nature of their relationship.

Cas is a proud bisexual guy, anyone knows it. With his good looks and his good heart, women and men alike tend to interested to pursue some kind of relationship with him. But no one catches his eyes.

No one else, because his world is full of Dean already.

Meanwhile, Dean is a poster boy of a manly straight guy. Except not so much, he was just so deep in the closet that even Narnia get a pass.

Cas was harboring a crush on Dean since their first year. But he didn't said a word, what with Dean’s all straight persona. He didn’t want to lose Dean as a friend, he didn’t want to lose Dean at all. So he keeps his feeling to himself for awhile.

Until one drunken night after some party on their last year of college. Dean came to their dorm room reeking of alcohol. Cas was not really like having party, so he just stays at their room, reading some book on his bed.

“Cassssssss why didn’t you there at the partyyyy?” Dean slurring when he came inside. His eyes glassy and pinkish.

“I don’t like it and you know it. Are you drunk?”

“Don’t ask stupid question,”

To Cas’s surprise, he goes straight to Cas’s bed, their eyes keep locked since Dean came inside. Dean crawled slowly toward Cas with a (kinda drunk) smirk on his face. Cas’s eyes widen seeing Dean came closer and closer.

“What are you doing?”

“Have I ever told ya I love your blue blue eyes?”

Their faces were just centimeters apart at this point. Cas hold his breath and still staring at Dean, not even brave to blink his eyes. He didn’t even understand _what the hell happened?_

“Dean?” he stuttered at last.

Dean didn’t answer, just closing his eyes and slowly closing the gap between them. Their lips touches slowly. Dean’s lips tasted like alcohol and were warm. Cas was still stunned and could do nothing, he just stayed still. Dean, the drunk shit that he is, fell asleep just like that. He was just sliding down Cas’s body, his body relaxed and he fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

 

The next morning, Cas woke up to still sleeping Dean. He lay still, didn’t want to wake up Dean. Several minutes later Dean opened his eyes and grunted.

“Dude why is it so bright,”

“Because you drank so much,”

Dean blinked several times, trying to accustomed his eyes. Cas still staring at him, considering I it was good enough to bring last night incident to Dean right now.

“Dean do you remember last night when you got back here?” apparently he can’t keep his mouth shut a little longer.

Dean blinked at him, seems like he didn’t have any clue.

“No, why? And while we’re there, why am I sleeping in your bed?”

Cas broke their eye contact, his fingers playing with the edge of the sheets.

“Well, you kinda, uh, drunk-kissed me?” his statement sounds more like a question. Suddenly he wasn’t sure why he brought it up in the first place.

“What??” Dean half screamed at Cas, his voice going higher. Cas just keep quiet, don’t really know what else to say.

“Uh, no problem, you were just drunk and didn't got lucky with any girls at your party. Maybe you were just frustrated. Now get off of my bed,”

Dean still didn’t move an inch or say a word. Cas can’t bring his eyes to look at Dean again, so he didn’t see Dean staring at his nervous self. Finally, even in Dean’s hungover mind, realized something on Cas’s expression. He’s so nervous bringing up about last night, but there’s a little hope earlier in his words and he was just looks desperate.

So Dean decided to be honest to himself and his best friend this time.

“Shit, thought my drunken self brought up buried feeling to the surface,”

Cas glanced up at Dean’s words, a little confused but the hope come once again in his eyes. He saw Dean’s little hesitant smile on his face. And it all comes at once to Cas that _Dean reciprocate my feeling_.

And they spend their Saturday on Cas’s bed after that.

 

***

 

Cas glanced at the clock once again. It was twenty minutes past seven on a gloomy Saturday inside a small coffee shop two blocks from Cas’s apartment. Dean promised to meet him there at seven. Cas becomes more antsy with more minutes passed, he keeps snapping his head anytime the bell above the door made a noise.

Finally ten minutes later that pair of green eyes met his blue ones. Dean gave a little smile and waving at him, striding to the counter to order his drink. Not five minutes later he came to the table and gave another apologetic smile.

“Hey, Cas, sorry I make you waiting. I have to drive Lisa to her friend’s,”

_That damn name again._

But Cas just giving him his own little smile.

“Okay, no problem. I enjoy it here after all. You have to pick her up too later?”

“Uh, yeah maybe, I guess so,” Dean scratching the back of his head and looking anywhere but at Cas while Cas still staring at him.

“Alright. So we have several hours?”

“Yeah, what do you wanna do?”

“Nothing. I just missed you. Actually I have something to talk to you. Wanna get back to my apartment?”

“Heh I doubt we’ll do much talking there,” Dean threw him his suggestive smirk. Cas just shook his head at him.

“Shut up. Come on this is important,”

“What is?”

“The thing I Wanted to talk to you about,”

Dean felt a little uneasy with the way Cas talked to him and his request to talk about something apparently pretty serious. He could make several guesses to what Cas would like to talk to him about., and he didn’t want to talk about any of it. But at the end he was just following Cas outside the shop and walking to his apartment. It’s a short walk, they both just keep quiet to themselves. Dean holds his coffee cup and occasionally taking a sip.

The air between them was still tense when they arrived at Cas’s apartment. Dean just go straight and sit on the couch on the living room while Cas taking his time closing the door. They were still busy with their own minds. Finally Cas takes a careful steps toward Dean and sits on the other end.

“So… things good with whatshername?”

“Lisa, Cas, no need to be rude. All is fine,”

“Good. Now Dean, how many years have we been together? May you recall?”

“Where is this going Cas?”

“Just answer my damn question,”

“Since when did you start cursing so much?”

“Since I met you with your closet case and your denial and I am so damn tired about it all!” Cas flew his hands and yelling at Dean. His eyes full of rage and a little glassy with unshed tears. He tried so damn hard to hold back his tears. Dean stared at him, opening his mouth like he wanted to said something but at the end he was just keep silent and move forward, wrapping his arms around Cas’s now shaking body.

“I’m so sorry baby, I know this is hard for you. This is hard for me too. But we had our arrangement, right? I love you baby, I love you much,” he kissed the top of Cas’s head, Cas sobbing a little on his chest.

 

***

 

After the morning after Dean’s drunk stunt, they became a lovers at last.

But only they knew about it.

Dean, of course, was the one who asked Cas to keep their relationship a secret. He hadn’t had this kind of feeling toward a man before, he was a little freaked out. That was why he tried to suppress his feeling for Cas to himself for years. He thought it was a just a phase, he was just so used to Cas being around him so his mind confused. Actually he was still thinking about it, that’s why he was still not ready to take their relationship out to the open.

And then there was his family. He was so not ready to bring this kind of talks with his family. He didn’t want anything like what happened to Cas’s family to happened to his.

 

 

 

Cas’s family was just a normal boring family in the outskirt of town, with white picket fence and a dog and whatnot. He was their only child, so he got any attention he needs from his loving parents.

Until they were not so loving anymore.

When Cas first feels his attraction toward a boy at his school, he didn’t feels the need to be scared of it. He was just go with it. But he didn’t feel the need to tell his parents too, because he thought it was just natural. No boy come to their parents and tell them “hey Mom, Dad, I think I’m straight”. So he just go with the flow.

When he was in sophomore year in high school, he got a pretty strong feeling to a boy his age, Balth. They got so close in no time, and Cas has a plan in his head to introduce Balth to his parents. But that plan snatched out of his hands.

One afternoon after school, they were hanging out in front of television in Cas’s house. They watched whatever crappy show was on and occasionally made out. His Dad weren’t supposed to be home until at least 7, like he did every other night. But on that specific day, his Dad’s boss decided to gave him an early leave.

Cas didn’t hear it when his Dad opened the front door, he was too busy making out with Balth on the top of him. They were on the living room, so when his Dad take several steps from the door and look at his right, his eyes got caught with his son beneath some other boy he haven’t met before.

“What the hell??” his Dad screamed at them. Balth instantly lift his head and looking right at his eyes. Cas peered from the back of the sofa, and looks at the horror on his Dad’s face. Suddenly he felt anxious and felt _maybe_ you did have to tell your parents if you were attracted to someone with the same gender as yours.

“Oh hey Dad, you came home early?” with his raspy voice, he still managed to keep his calm demeanor. He nudged Balth’s stomach, asking him to get up. His Dad strode right up in front of him, rage in his eyes with a little red layer started to forming up. His jaw twitched.

“What exactly are you doing here?” his voice so low on the dangerous level it bring shivers down Cas’s spine. Balth still just standing awkwardly looking at them both.

“Um… kissing my boyfriend?” the answers he gave was so full of hesitation it came out like a question. He made a quick glance at Balth. He gave him a little reassuring smile layered by thousands of worry.

“ _Boyfriend_? _BOYFRIEND??_ Since when did I raise a fairy in this house?!!” his voice getting loud again, and Cas felt a little irritated by now. See, he didn’t feel he do anything wrong, so he didn’t feel scared at all.

“I’m not a _fairy_ as you called it. What, I’m no tinker-bell. I’m just happened to like both sexes. Equal opportunities and all,” he answered a little too calm which just made his father’s anger got bigger. Cas took a step back and give a look at Balth.

“Just go home Balth, I think I have some issues here with my Dad,”

“But..” Balth seems a little hesitant in leaving Cas there with his angry father. He didn’t want anything bad happening to Cas.

“Just go. I’ll call you later,”

“You okay here,”

“Sure. Just go,”

Balth nods at Cas and go for the front door. After he heard the front door close, he looks back at his father.

“Got anything else to say?” his face still stoic. His Dad has no idea how he keeps his expression like that.

“I’m not having a fag in this house. Either you fix yourself, or get out of this house,” his voice was quiet but threatening.

But Cas, as per usual, didn’t felt threatened at all.

“Whatever you say Dad, I'm not broken. I just realized I have a jerk for a father. I’ll go, no worries,”

After that he walked past his Dad and went upstairs to his room, packed several articles of clothing and necessities. He didn’t really have a plan for this to happen, honestly he thought his parents would be just cool and accepting him. He goes to Balth’s house after that, and begins building a plan for his life in the future without his family’s support.

Apparently, Cas’s mother was still a kindhearted woman.

That night when she came home and couldn't find her son anywhere in the house, she asked her husband a little panicked about her son’s whereabouts. Then he told her anything, still with anger in his voice and seems like he was assuming his wife will gave the same reaction as his. Apparently not.

His wife screamed at his face for kicking out their son and being a total dick for not accepting him for what he was. She stormed out the door, getting back in her car and called Cas, asking where is he now.

His Mom came to Balth’s house, giving him a crushing hug when she saw him, whispering comforting words to his son. Both of them sobbed a little.

Things went on after that. Cas’s Dad was still being a jerk that he was, didn’t want to accept Cas back. Not that he was begging or anything. He and his mom moved out shortly after that. After their divorce was finalized, his Mom brought him to another state.

 

 

That was what made Dean scared of his family knowing about his relationship with Cas. He didn’t want any bad reaction from any member of his family taking his family onto a bad direction. He was scared his Dad will have a same reaction with Cas’s. He was an ex-Marine mechanic, a very picture of a man who wanted his son to be just like him with a loving wife and children. Dean just keeps making assumptions in his head.

So he asked Cas to keep their relationship a secret, and that in order to keep another people’s suspicion on the bay, they could have a relationship with another people. Cas was not fine with it. He loves Dean and he want him just for him. But after a long time of convincing him, finally Cas have no other choice than to accept it. Dean reassures him that he loves him and nothing will beat his feeling for him (arguments about he can’t even beat his own fear just spiraling in Cas’s head).

Cas had no illusion. He knows Dean is still doubting his own feeling for Cas, that was why he didn’t brave enough to take a big step for their kind of relationship. Dean was not sure it would last long, so he thought it wouldn't be worth the risk. But with hope in his heart and love in his chest, he go along with it. Dean has had several girlfriends along the year, yet he still stays with Cas as his constant presence.

But Cas can’t bring himself to be with another person. Because there’s no doubt in his mind that Dean was it for him.

 

***

 

Dean and Cas were eating take away dinner at Dean’s dining table, talks a little about nothing particular. After Cas’s breakdown several weeks ago, Dean’s acted a little more careful around Cas. Cas noticed it but says nothing. Because that night several weeks ago, after his breakdown, Dean made a promise to him.

That night after Cas calmed down a little, Dean gave him a reassuring kiss and whispering sweet nothings in his ear. He said sorry for doing this for years, making Cas miserable when they could be happy together. That he was a grown man, he shouldn’t be afraid of anything. That the only thing he should be afraid of was losing Cas.

He made a promise to leave Lisa.

But he said he can’t do that at once. They were together for a fairly long time, his family already knows her and the same with her family. He needs to make a particular move, he need to think the right way to do that.

Cas was just so happy hearing that from Dean. Hope once again blooms in his chest. He didn't doubt Dean’s feeling for him anymore, he only knows he loves him. Dean just needs a push to the right direction.

So he takes what Dean said that night and keeping it in his heart to keep him sane.

He just needs to wait, maybe not too long. He hopes it won’t be too long.

 

Dean said Lisa was staying at her friend’s that night, her friend having some issues that needs her support or whatever Cas didn’t really pay attention. The only thing he cared about was that he will spend the night with Dean that night. That was a rare occasion, he planned to savor  it. _Hopefully that won’t be a rare occasion again in the near future_ , Cas smiled to himself, imagining his life with Dean beside him.

Them spending their time together, worshiping each others body. Tiny little kisses anywhere on their bodies, soft pants and moans filled Dean’s bedroom. They'd make sweet slow love, taking their sweet time for each other.

Cas woke up in the middle of the night because of his bladder. Their position hasn’t changed from when they were cuddling after they were making love. Cas gave the back of Dean’s neck a little kiss and got up slowly, not wanting to waking Dean up.

After finishing his business on the bathroom, Cas came back to Dean’s bedroom. The curtain on the windows still opened, letting lights from the street in the bedroom’s floor where Dean and Cas’s clothes scattered anywhere. Cas began picking up their clothes and and went to put them on the chair in the corner.

He dumped their clothes there, and after thinking for awhile he takes his boxers. He wasn’t really a naked sleeper. After checking his boxer, he squint his face in distaste. There was several suspicious stains on his boxers, maybe from their previous activity. Cas chuckles a little remembering that certain activity.

Cas wanted to ask Dean for his boxers but still didn’t want to waking Dean, he opened drawer by drawer in that room looking for Dean’s boxer drawer. He found it on the second drawer and he just pulls the one on the top corner. Something falls together with the boxer he pulls and fall to the floor.

There’s a little box on the floor. That was not there before so clearly it was something that fell off. Cas could see it clearly, it was spot lighted by the light outside. A deep red small velvet box. Cas was no fool, of course he has his suspicion about what kind of box was that. What he didn’t know was its purpose. _What was it doing in Dean’s drawer?_

Cas pus on the boxers first because he didn’t really feel comfortable naked on the open room and, out of curiosity, he takes the box and examines its exterior a little. The velvet felt so soft. Finally he opened it.

There sits a ring. A simple silver band.

Cas got a little confused by now. Thousands questions flying in his head.

_Whose is it? Is it Dean’s? Is it for me?_

But he didn’t get his hopes up too high, he knows life didn’t go that way with him.

And he knows he was right about suppressing his hope, or even better just killing his hope, after a little further inspection.

The ring is just too small. It was designed for woman.

Cas can feels tears brimming in his eyes. He choked a little sob and lifting that ring for a closer look. There, engraved in beautiful italic letters.

_Yours, Lis._

Cas can’t contain his tears anymore. It feels like all the bad things that ever happened to him in his life just come again at once and hit him right in his core. The ring slips from his hands, Cas falls along with the ring to the floor and let his sobs out.

Dean stirring a little on the bed, maybe hearing the noise Cas made.

“Cas?” his voice so raspy from sleep, he blinked his eyes a few time trying to get a clearer look at Cas. Cas who was hugging his knees and crying on the floor. Dean jumped from the bed after seeing Cas and half runs to him.

“Cas? Cas? Why are you crying? Cas?” Dean got on his knees in front of Cas, trying to look at his face and finding out what’s wrong.

“Cas? What’s wrong baby?” Dean running his hand on Cas’s head, coaxing him to lift his head up so he could look at his face.

Not long after that his wish was granted. Cas lift his head, his eyes red and puffy and full of tears. And even fuller with pain. Pain is everywhere on his face.

“You. You are my biggest mistakes in my whole life. I’m so stupid. I was too in love with you I had no logic left in my head. You hurt me everyday Dean. Every day I have to act like just a friend. Every time you bring your new girlfriend to me. Every time I heard you say Lisa’s name when you were with me. Deep down I always know you didn’t want me the same way as I do you. Why was I so foolish?” Cas’s voice sounds so heartbreaking. Several words not even meant for Dean to hear, he was talking to himself.

“What? Baby what are you talking about?” Dean panicked, searching for anything in Cas’s eyes.

“Don’t call me that!” Cas pushed Dean and make some distance between them.

“Alright, just tell me what’s wrong,”

Cas reached for the ring not far from him on the floor. He lift it up in front of Dean’s face and saw recognition in Dean’s eyes. Cas gave him a pathetic laugh.

“Good. You know what is it, right? Now tell me Dean, you really gonna marry her? What is it you told me several weeks ago? Do you just feel sorry for me?” Cas tried his hardest to keep his calm and talks with flat voice. He didn’t want to pour his emotion and bare his soul to Dean anymore. He’s had enough. He bared enough.

“Cas, it’s not--” Dean stammered, not even looking at Cas again.

“Not what? I don’t need your pity. You could just say no to me from the beginning. You could just tell me to fuck off and get my own life and not to disturb you again. I would do that if you just asked Dean, if you just told me. I would be heartbroken sure, but I could start to build my life again. _I won’t be hanging by a thin hope again_. Why did you do this to me?” Cas choked a little again at the end of his words.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you don’t want me….” Cas said softly, more to himself than anything. Silent tears fall to his cheeks.

“Don’t say that Cas, I do want you. You’re the one I love!” Dean looked at Cas again and raising his voice with a panic tone.

“Save it,”

Cas was rubbing his eyes and wiping his tears from his cheeks and then he got up from the floor. He takes his clothes from the chair. He starts wearing his clothes.

“What are you doing?” Dean looks up from the floor to Cas who was now buttoning his shirt and reaching for his coat.

“What do you think? I’m not a damn pathetic mistress to you anymore. I’m done Dean. Marry whoever you like, fuck whoever you feel like it. This is my last string. This is the last false hope you ever gave me. I’m tired of hoping and get crushed over and over,”

Cas reached for his wallet and keys and make a quick stride to the front door.

“Cas! Wait a minute I’ll explain! Please don’t go, listen to me for a minute!” Dean got up and reached for Cas.

“You better save your speech for your proposal Dean. I can’t see your face anymore,” silent tears creeping back to Cas. Dean let his tears loose too. He begs Cas to stay and choked by his own tears.

Cas having none of it and opening the front door.

“Don’t you dare follow me.”

Cas slammed the door hard. Dean standing in his hallway, swallowing back his tears trying to calm himself.

He thought he just needed to give Cas a little time to be calmer about this. He’ll come to Cas and explain everything to Cas, anything to make him stay because he really can’t bear the thoughts about his life without Cas by his side.

Little does he knows, for the second time in his life, Cas got out from the state.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas meets someone from the past

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos!! Sorry for the reaaally late update, this is not even an update, more like a filler or whatnot. I don't know!
> 
> And also, unbeta'd, and my English is really bad. If any of you would to help me, gladly!
> 
>  
> 
> And well, I feel like inserting a little of my side-ship. Heheheheh

Dean couldn’t hold his life together anymore.

He was just realized now, that Cas was already becoming the most important and constant presence in his life. He was the one who encouraging him to chasing his passion despite of the world’s discouragement. He was the one who holds him together when he was falling apart into pieces. He was the one who was gluing him together again when he was broken into pieces.

Now that his world is shattered, no one was there to holding him, or mending him to be okay. Because that was Cas who was becoming a broken pieces in Dean’s world, so there was no more Cas. He lost his angel.

Dean’s head and mind is one hell of a mess. He curled and held himself tightly into his own shell. He put his wall strong and high around him, giving no permit for anyone to get to him. Only Cas has that access, and he was not there anymore.

He was always thinking back on how he was hurting Cas so much for years. How Cas could stand by him for all those years. How he was a selfish asshole and didn’t give a shit about how Cas feels about their predicament.

He thought about Cas’s empty apartment when he got there the day after.

About how Cas probably changing his number. God knows where he was now.

Lisa didn’t know what was up with Dean. Even Sam didn’t know. But they do know that Dean’s life lately was lack of Cas. They put up with Dean’s behavior, hoping Cas was there to make Dean feel better. They know how Cas could affecting Dean. Everyone knew.

“Talk to me, Dean,”

Sam was always pleading for the same thing every time he was with Dean. Sometimes Lisa would asks the same question, but Dean was barely could stand in the same room together with her. Lisa knows Dean was avoiding her, more or less. Sam noticed, too.

For the millionth time, they hope Cas was there, for Dean’s sake.

***

Sam found Cas.

It was months after Cas ran from the state and tried to start his new life. Sam was on a business trip. It was one lucky coincidence, actually. Cas never thought about the possibility of meeting someone he knew before. He’s two states over after all.

It was one gloomy afternoon. Cas was trying to write his latest book, his editor keeps pressing him about it. Cas was sitting on his favorite spot on the corner of his favorite coffee shop in that little city, not far from his small apartment. He was sipping his coffee slowly while his eyes roaming, looking around the tables and the counter. That was when he caught something familiar.

That tall frame and broad shoulder and floppy hair. He’s facing the cashier, ordering his coffee. Cas just stoned, can’t even take his eyes off of that figure. A minutes later Sam swiveled and instantly caught Cas’s stare. He’s stoned, also. No one was expecting this.

Sam strode slowly towards Cas, his jaw slightly hanging, still stunned by their accidental meeting. Cas broke their eye contact first and looking at anywhere but Sam.

“Um… hi, Cas,” Sam greets him a little hesitantly. He doesn’t really know what to say to this man. He doesn’t even really know why Cas was left, he just knew that it was breaking Dean’s heart into pieces. He could just take some lucky guesses.

Cas finally lift his eyes, looking at Sam, with a little small smile gracing his lips.

“Hello, Sam,”

“Well, this is awkward. May I sit with you?”

“Of course Sam, please,” Cas collects his strayed papers on the opposite table, making space for Sam. Sam sit down and giving Cas another little hesitant smile.

“How are you doing, Cas?” Sam was the one who breaks their awkward silence finally.

“Fine, Sam. As fine as I could be. How about you? What are you doing in this little city anyway?” Cas doing his adorable little head tilts, Sam noticed, and he smiled a little at it. How he missed his friend.

“I’m on a business trip, collecting some data for my client. Man you look thinner than last time I saw you,”

Cas just ducked his head at that, still with his little sad smile which made Sam wants to just cuddles him and protecting him from the cruel world.

“Why did you leave?” Sam deadpanned, he can’t hold it anymore. He wants to know. He needs to know. Cas snapped his head at that.

“I..-“ Cas ducked his head again and shut his eyes tight, looks like he was holding back some tears.

“Sorry, sorry, forget it. Don’t tell me anything you don’t want to. Just, I’m worried, man. And Dean, too, for that matter. He isn’t in a good shape to put it lightly. Hell he’s never worse,”

“How is he, Sam?”

“I’ve just told you, man. He’s in his worst. Did your sudden leave have something to do with Dean?” Sam asks again, a little hesitant, he doesn’t want to make Cas feels uncomfortable more than he already does.

But he needs to know, dammit.

“Don’t tell him you meet me, please,” his voice is so small Sam could barely hear it.

“What? Why?”

“I…can’t meet him. Well not yet. Maybe later, I guess. I don’t want Dean to know where I am,”

“Okay, man. Zipped.” Sam miming zipping his mouth shut.

“Thank you, Sam. Well, I must admit it was good to see some familiar face in this….rather unfamiliar place,” Cas giving Sam another smile, but this one seems far more genuine, happy kind of smile.

Sam feels his lips tugging up and smiling himself, seeing Cas’s genuine smile again after so long.

 

***

They talked all day.

Sam and Cas were never that close to start off. Actually this is the first there were just two of them talking without Dean, Sam just realized. And it feels rather nice. Cas was easy to talk to, he has a wide range of knowledge, he knows what Sam is talking about. Suddenly it’s dark outside.

“Wow, time flies,” Sam said, looking outside through the glass door.

“Yeah, it really does. It was really nice to talk to you, Sam. We’ve never had the chance,”

“Heh, yeah, I just realized that too,”

“Where do you stay?”

“At the hotel around the corner, not far from here. You know?”

Cas tapping his finger on the table while he tries to remembering what hotel is Sam talking about. His eyes lightening a bit when he remembered the one Sam stays at, which is nt really far from his place.

“Ah, yes, actually, it’s not really far from my apartment,”

“Great. We could, umm…walk together?”

“Sure, Sam. Let’s go home,”

Cas lead the way and they got out from the little coffee shop. It’s a bit chilly outside, and Cas didn’t really have a plan to went out until night, so he didn’t bring anything to warm himself.

Sam’s hotel is a bit closer to the coffee shop than Cas’s apartment, so they reach the hotel first. Sam, who is really aware of how cold Cas must feel, but don’t know how to offer his help without looking like he make a move to him, finally offered Cas to get inside.

“Come on man, your lips are blue already,” _not that I’m staring at your lips_

“It’s late, I’m just gonna head home,” Cas, stubborn little shit that he is, still insisting to go home while he’s shivering a little.

“Come on, just have a little warm drink or something. Or take my jacket,” Sam offering and about to take off his jacket.

“No need to. Okay, maybe I’ll come inside for a while until I feel warm again. My home is not that far anymore,”

Sam throwing a smile at Cas and lead the way in. Sam stays at the first floor, so they got there after a little walk from the front door. The room is nice, not in an all expensive looking 5 stars hotel kinda way, it’s more like a homey atmosphere.

“Nice room,” Cas commented and looking around. Seems like Sam only bringing a little luggage on this trip.

“Yeah, my office set this up,”

“When will you go again?”

“In a few days, why?”

“Maybe we could hanging out again,”

“Yeah, sure. Hey, take a seat. I’ll fix you something,”

Cas nods and sit at the sofa in one side of the room. Sam goes to the small bar on the other side, looking like he tries to make some tea.

“Shit, this water heater is not working,”

Cas laughs a little, he found Sam cussing is cute. He didn’t seems like the type.

Unlike Dean.

Cas shakes his head, tries to kick Dean out of his head. He always found a way to his head.

“No problem, Sam. I feel better already just inside this room,”

Sam sits beside Cas, the air feels a little awkward all of sudden.

“Uh…so, what are you doing tomorrow?” Cas asks, he turns his head toward Sam, only to found Sam staring at him. And doesn’t answering his question.

“Sam?”

He moves forward and capturing Cas’s lips on his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope. Not the end. I guess.  
> I don't know. Should this be?

**Author's Note:**

> Should I write more of this? Should I just leave it at that? Idk.  
> Thoughts?


End file.
